This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7683) - you deserved it (26884)
On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States
Today, I walked around town by myself for four hours because I was too ashamed to tell my parents that I have no friends willing to spend time with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21244) - you deserved it (2985)
On 07/12/2012 at 6:31am - misc - by etmerda (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24589) - you deserved it (3412)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore
Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19691) - you deserved it (2859)
On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I was greeting customers at work. After saying good morning to one man, he stopped and looked at me from head to toe before smirking and saying, "Mmmm." He then turned around and said, "It's starting." It's only my first day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15208) - you deserved it (1568)
On 01/25/2012 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20340) - you deserved it (5894)
On 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25898) - you deserved it (5819)
On 12/31/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by thathurt (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34607) - you deserved it (6306)
On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my mother hacked my Facebook and broke up with my boyfriend and pretended to be me. She told him if he ever talks to me again, she'll call the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28691) - you deserved it (2548)
On 12/15/2011 at 10:20am - love - by NinjaWafflesx (woman) - United States
Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17484) - you deserved it (9831)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada
Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17484) - you deserved it (9831)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada
Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28152) - you deserved it (2449)
On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mother-in-law told my husband that I cannot stay in her house unless I can bring proof from a doctor that my allergy to cats is not contagious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (1495)
On 08/29/2011 at 2:47pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9922) - you deserved it (46438)
On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24709) - you deserved it (2529)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
