Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

yazanwest

Search for a member

yazanwest

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 176
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About yazanwest : Just a regular dude who does music for the fuck of it: www.youtube.com/theroyalryder

yazanwest's page activity

Visits<b>LifeOnBlast19</b> - the 11/10/2011 at 4:43pm

yazanwest's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

yazanwest's favorite FMLs

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

#18499980
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17112) - you deserved it (43544)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

#18490910
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (2373)

On 12/12/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by tishihish - United States

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12949) - you deserved it (41136)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39838) - you deserved it (9428)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

#18403998
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53354) - you deserved it (2967)

On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

#18279694
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35189) - you deserved it (4739)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
599 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43133) - you deserved it (11342)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband bought a new 80-inch TV. Not only can we barely afford it, but it also blocks our doorways no matter where we put it. He refuses to return it. FML

#18243186
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26672) - you deserved it (3539)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:44am - money - by LCDhell (woman) - United States

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29442) - you deserved it (6912)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31276) - you deserved it (5431)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

#13403987
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27783) - you deserved it (8843)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22837) - you deserved it (3332)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32279) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

#5735299
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7207) - you deserved it (43814)

On 10/09/2009 at 3:09am - work - by whitedevil (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML

#5588493
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (19850)

On 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by mushroommouth (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: