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Mobility
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Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26768) - you deserved it (1546)
On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23506) - you deserved it (514)
On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18846) - you deserved it (2692)
On 06/30/2012 at 2:49am - animals - by BloodFaerie (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15840) - you deserved it (4464)
On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (2142)
On 06/27/2012 at 1:05am - love - by tammy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15846) - you deserved it (3541)
On 06/25/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Wwiimaniac (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, at a party, I told a joke to my crush. He didn't even smile. An hour later, I heard my model friend tell the exact same joke to him. He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (1653)
On 06/24/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by egc573 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17120) - you deserved it (1894)
On 06/23/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by nosonofmine (man) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)
Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17124) - you deserved it (1836)
On 06/23/2012 at 11:11am - misc - by tylah - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24003) - you deserved it (2275)
On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (2056)
On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (2056)
On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States
Today, I was at work when a co-worker decided it would be funny to email me from my boss's computer to tell me I had been laid off. It wasn't funny when I was fired for real after "skipping work without giving notice." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23845) - you deserved it (1459)
On 06/18/2012 at 12:39am - work - by Adam Jensen - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boss gave me a new assignment at work: go online and look for my own replacement, then interview him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21784) - you deserved it (1444)
On 06/17/2012 at 4:50am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17958) - you deserved it (2823)
On 06/17/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by historyfreak_17 - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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