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yaya1213

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yaya1213
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  • Number of visits : 876
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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yaya1213's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54945) - you deserved it (3881)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

#20732528
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (5174)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by ProAwkward - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57298) - you deserved it (35810)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46062) - you deserved it (6081)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69899) - you deserved it (6352)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27295) - you deserved it (44586) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38454) - you deserved it (3564)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33393) - you deserved it (3709)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML

#20538296
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12994) - you deserved it (42758)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:54pm - misc - by human lava lamp (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

#20498469
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24092) - you deserved it (2600)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20010) - you deserved it (2890)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML

#20497809
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31888) - you deserved it (7864)

On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (14209)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52873) - you deserved it (3518)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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