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Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd~5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until I was attacked by a pair of butterflies. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8402) - you totally deserved it (34396)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by tryscal - United States (California)
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35685) - you totally deserved it (2273)
On 07/08/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by ug (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I was driving home through the middle of nowhere when a screw punctured my car tire. I arrived at the town's only auto shop to find that it had closed early. Frantic, I dialed the emergency number listed on the shop's locked door. On the other side of the glass, a phone began to ring. FML
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On 07/08/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30980) - you totally deserved it (6010)
On 07/08/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by feltuponthe69 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30913) - you totally deserved it (1778)
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML
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On 07/07/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7391) - you totally deserved it (40888)
On 07/07/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States
Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7136) - you totally deserved it (36972)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm - misc - by SwordFish8 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49082) - you totally deserved it (11355)
On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I busted my ass to help this old lady move her stuff because she was going to a nursing home. I was told I would get paid. When I finished four hours later the lady took me to a room and told me to pick out anything in her little goody bag. I got a race car as payment. FML
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On 06/10/2009 at 7:03am - work - by person (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML
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On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42821) - you totally deserved it (3258)
On 05/30/2009 at 12:24am - kids - by sdasdflkjas (woman) - United States
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death" (my dildo). FML
I agree, your life sucks (51256) - you totally deserved it (23511)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - kids - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (110886) - you totally deserved it (13397)
On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokemon game. FML
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On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)
