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Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2950) - you deserved it (32853)
On 07/20/2012 at 5:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)
Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17594) - you deserved it (1801)
On 07/20/2012 at 4:26pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6216) - you deserved it (34265)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (1406)
On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23076) - you deserved it (2205)
On 07/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by Dreamer (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dad was helping my fiancé and me move. On the way, someone sideswiped the trailer. When the police came, we found my dad had a suspended license, no insurance, and a broken tail light. No one else could drive a manual, so we were stuck in a parking lot for 3 hours. Thanks, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12086) - you deserved it (3661)
On 07/02/2012 at 9:20pm - misc - by thanksdad (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22910) - you deserved it (3472)
On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19642) - you deserved it (1355)
On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)
Today, I saw my best friend, who's a cop. He was dressed up in regular clothes and with six other guys. I said, "Officer T.? Didn't you have work today?" Turns out he was undercover, and I blew his investigation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14032) - you deserved it (29665)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by immabitch - United States
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (2692)
On 06/30/2012 at 2:49am - animals - by BloodFaerie (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16774) - you deserved it (1875)
On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States
Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9125) - you deserved it (9736)
On 06/29/2012 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, at work, my phone kept crashing. Without thinking, I announced that it was having a seizure. Who did I announce this to? My boss. Who also happens to have epilepsy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5254) - you deserved it (16206)
On 06/29/2012 at 9:30am - work - by xxccruzxx - United States
Today, I found out that the piece of vacant land I purchased for $20,000 is illegal to build a house on, due to acreage restrictions. Thank you, realtor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17265) - you deserved it (3444)
On 06/28/2012 at 12:53pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17007) - you deserved it (1385)
On 06/27/2012 at 10:28pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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