Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

yamatelle

Search for a member

yamatelle
  • Town/Country : Citoyenne, du Monde
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 December 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1735
  • Number of comments : 235
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About yamatelle : I'm a crazy bitch and Sarcasm is my middle name. Don't get offended or take any of my comments seriously (and by any, I mean 99.9% of them).
I have a really weird sense of humor. Some think I'm funny, some think I'm offensive, and others think I'm just a plain attention whore. Either way, I love everyone! :D
Definitely not your typical female; I love sex jokes and I'm not afraid to get dirty ;)
Grammar Nazi fail moments make me feel all good inside!
I'm a Pre-Med student, kind of a nerd, fluent in 3 languages, and love life! Anything else? Ask me. I'm a nice person. I don't bite...unless you ask me to. :D

Remember ladies, chicks before dicks! :D

yamatelle's last visitors

SuperdouchebagEarrings100ArcheryCole99Jarl_the_ElitehotdaddyStraya_for_lifealexmac222tigerfishAspireworks

yamatelle's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of yamatelle's badges

yamatelle's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31028) - you deserved it (4995)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

#17525385
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26371) - you deserved it (2339)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by anonymous22kittylicklick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26629) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30970) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104528) - you deserved it (14020)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53966) - you deserved it (11683)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31010) - you deserved it (6175)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

#12544003
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16219) - you deserved it (34453)

On 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Peekaman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it would be funny to moon people out of my friend's car window. I rolled down the window and mooned a random couple. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I had to get out of the car and pick up my phone and wallet, which were in my back pocket. FML

#12483686
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4445) - you deserved it (48249)

On 08/12/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by fullmoonfml (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21513) - you deserved it (9352)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML

#12438050
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25771) - you deserved it (2359)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Brandon (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37270) - you deserved it (8010)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

#7894652
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26122) - you deserved it (20557)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101082) - you deserved it (11756)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

#7380749
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55912) - you deserved it (6392)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: