yahoowizard

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Offline (the 09/07/2014 at 7:32pm)

yahoowizard

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2916
  • Number of comments : 604
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About yahoowizard : FML's help me sleep.
Oh, and math is awesome.

yahoowizard's page activity

Visits<b>Fritz_Rfunny1</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 1:26pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 12:45am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 3:26pm<b>ZiaBerry</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 4:17pm<b>carpenoctern</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 11:10am<b>konan__</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 2:47am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 8:48pm<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:37pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:57pm<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:48pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 9:28pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:39am<b>secondcitystyles</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:10am<b>honksdozy</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:20pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:57am<b>Kvothee</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 8:40pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:44pm

Fucked!<b>Fritz_Rfunny1</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 7:26pm<b>carpenoctern</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 5:11pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 6:54pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 3:45am<b>kathrynbudders</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 12:12am

yahoowizard's FML badges

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50 favourites

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yahoowizard's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

by nowork / 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

by SparkOfJade / 08/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Maryland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

by Saddoc / 07/26/2013 at 3:58am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

by gavinbanks / 07/21/2013 at 6:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, I went on a blind date and we seemed to have hit it off nicely. I asked him if he could drive me home. Along the way he stopped on a pitch-black road and told me to get out so he could take a picture. He then gave me my bag and drove off, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. FML

by Misshhh / 07/19/2013 at 12:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

by thanks, Nemo. / 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

by yayme. / 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

by OnPlanetVenus / 07/04/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, after spending months learning Chinese, selling my house and everything I own for my big transfer to Hong Kong, my boss decided I should instead go to our other branch across town. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 5:01pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work