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xzanex

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xzanex

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 869
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xzanex :
First impressions, are often untrue.
Like when you first saw me, when I first met you.
We are often blinded by our first sight,
unable to tell between wrong from right.
Unable to tell what's real and what's fake,
We cannot decide, to give or to take.
Unable to separate truth from lies,
we vainly search those foreign eyes,
for insight, for detail, for facts to reveal.
Yet what we see, is often unreal.
Our eyes start out blind, we cannot view.
Only when time passes, can I truly see you.

xzanex's page activity

Visits<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:37pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:05pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:10pm<b>thee_most_dope</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:30am<b>Ezrah01</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:01am<b>otumboo</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:49pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:20pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:59am<b>f36k</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:15pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 3:07pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:21pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 3:40pm<b>deathstroke990</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 9:30pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:41am<b>carl_CIOwhat</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 1:23am<b>Ecudaniel</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:45pm<b>xnyletak</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:27pm<b>BeanCuisine</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:15pm

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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xzanex's favorite FMLs

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31927) - you deserved it (11401)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34284) - you deserved it (3706)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30898) - you deserved it (14243)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32037) - you deserved it (3544)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

#21254463
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38921) - you deserved it (3382)

On 09/08/2014 at 1:56pm - health - by jkim - United States (California)

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

#21252533
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15593) - you deserved it (36005)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38207) - you deserved it (2803)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24294) - you deserved it (44704)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

#21206411
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44181) - you deserved it (4214)

On 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50619) - you deserved it (6626)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47151) - you deserved it (4775)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47441) - you deserved it (7218)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49672) - you deserved it (4447)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22302) - you deserved it (64295)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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