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xzanex

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xzanex

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 729
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xzanex :
First impressions, are often untrue.
Like when you first saw me, when I first met you.
We are often blinded by our first sight,
unable to tell between wrong from right.
Unable to tell what's real and what's fake,
We cannot decide, to give or to take.
Unable to separate truth from lies,
we vainly search those foreign eyes,
for insight, for detail, for facts to reveal.
Yet what we see, is often unreal.
Our eyes start out blind, we cannot view.
Only when time passes, can I truly see you.

xzanex's page activity

Visits<b>otumboo</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:49pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:16am<b>andy594328</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:20pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:59am<b>f36k</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:15pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 3:07pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:21pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 3:40pm<b>deathstroke990</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 9:30pm<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 8:27pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:41am<b>carl_CIOwhat</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 1:23am<b>Ecudaniel</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:45pm<b>xnyletak</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:27pm<b>BeanCuisine</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:15pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 8:52pm<b>mokibear335</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 6:29pm<b>CryptiCKING</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 8:47pm

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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xzanex's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30723) - you deserved it (2254)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23939) - you deserved it (43818)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

#21206411
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44131) - you deserved it (4204)

On 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50480) - you deserved it (6616)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47075) - you deserved it (4771)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47403) - you deserved it (7217)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48976) - you deserved it (4381)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (64306)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I love him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

#21136683
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40658) - you deserved it (4883)

On 05/11/2014 at 1:57pm - love - by not gay in AL (man) - United States

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (232) - you deserved it (18540)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to drive to India. Thinking he meant Indiana, I said sure, knowing I have friends there. He said, "Bangladesh, India, here we come!" He was serious. FML

#21128139
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36081) - you deserved it (6477)

On 05/01/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by GAGirl1 (woman) - United States

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42509) - you deserved it (4929)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that the April Fool's Day prank my girlfriend and best friend played on me was not a joke, and that they actually did sleep together. FML

#21111038
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46681) - you deserved it (3497)

On 04/12/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by gullible (man) - United States

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38197) - you deserved it (5689)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)



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