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xzanex

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xzanex

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2552
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xzanex : I'm a typical college student who just never outgrew reading FMLs.

xzanex's page activity

Visits<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:54pm<b>Mons</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:58pm<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 12:00pm<b>sevenwondersx</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:01am<b>yosico22</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 7:50pm<b>potionowl</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:53am<b>asdfghjklmoo</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:15pm<b>Angel1999</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 9:07pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:27pm<b>lucythomson</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:06pm<b>Rkikkas9713</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 12:54pm<b>vicky_lynnnnn</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 12:28am<b>InvictusTribuni</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:20pm<b>Marshmallowjello</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:03pm<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:41pm<b>pooldude</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:09am<b>Killswitchknot</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 12:36pm<b>satanictoaster</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 9:41am

Fucked!<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:01am<b>Mons</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:43pm<b>potionowl</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:54am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:41pm

xzanex's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of xzanex's badges

xzanex's favorite FMLs

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

#21463801
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18347) - you deserved it (1821)

On 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm - misc - by Alan (man) - Germany

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21778) - you deserved it (3676)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML

#21459919
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15839) - you deserved it (21548)

On 08/24/2015 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

#21458908
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10017) - you deserved it (29765)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

#21456323
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22584) - you deserved it (1647)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:47am - work - by bruised - United States (Florida)

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (3564)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML

#21453582
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you deserved it (2586)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by brbkillingmyself - United States

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

#21453197
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22152) - you deserved it (4607)

On 08/07/2015 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by Gonzales (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML

#21452951
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23976) - you deserved it (2867)

On 08/06/2015 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Notsurewhattofeelaboutthis (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML

#21437701
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29678) - you deserved it (2739)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:59pm - kids - by BlazefireSaber (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

#21435950
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26517) - you deserved it (3248)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML

#21432849
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31329) - you deserved it (2573)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:29pm - love - by isaidfuckoff (woman) - United States

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

#21432612
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23562) - you deserved it (2158)

On 06/27/2015 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32017) - you deserved it (2326)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)



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