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xzanex

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xzanex

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1947
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xzanex : I'm a typical college student who just never outgrew reading FMLs.

xzanex's page activity

Visits<b>pooldude</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:09am<b>Killswitchknot</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 12:36pm<b>satanictoaster</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 9:41am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:43pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 4:13pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 7:09pm<b>thee_most_dope</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 7:03pm<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:37pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:10pm<b>Ezrah01</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:01am<b>otumboo</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:49pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:59am<b>f36k</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:15pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 3:07pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:21pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 3:40pm<b>deathstroke990</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 9:30pm

xzanex's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of xzanex's badges

xzanex's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (2608)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML

#21380308
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28773) - you deserved it (2183)

On 03/23/2015 at 7:19pm - misc - by jumanji (man) -

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28983) - you deserved it (3503)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received a phone call from the counselor at my son's preschool, requesting that I come pick him up. He was barking incessantly at his classmates. And when they asked him to stop, he growled. FML

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33153) - you deserved it (6066)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18179) - you deserved it (54611)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my dad ate my rabbit when I was 6 years old. He'd told me it ran away. I can't be mad at my dad; he's been dead for 5 years. FML

#21353772
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32651) - you deserved it (2327)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm - animals - by jackskellington - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

#21327860
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (2985)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm - love - by cakestar9 (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33424) - you deserved it (2659)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

#21316716
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33086) - you deserved it (2693)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29527) - you deserved it (8321)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)



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