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xzanex

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xzanex

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1530
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xzanex : I'm a typical college student who just never outgrew reading FMLs.

xzanex's page activity

Visits<b>pooldude</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:09am<b>Killswitchknot</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 12:36pm<b>satanictoaster</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 9:41am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:43pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 4:13pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 7:09pm<b>thee_most_dope</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 7:03pm<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:37pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:10pm<b>Ezrah01</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:01am<b>otumboo</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:49pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:59am<b>f36k</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:15pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 3:07pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:21pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 3:40pm<b>deathstroke990</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 9:30pm

xzanex's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of xzanex's badges

xzanex's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15748) - you deserved it (4327)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

#21327860
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31487) - you deserved it (2975)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm - love - by cakestar9 (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32701) - you deserved it (2465)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

#21316716
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32976) - you deserved it (2690)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29446) - you deserved it (8302)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32099) - you deserved it (3551)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34314) - you deserved it (12280)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35624) - you deserved it (3734)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31445) - you deserved it (14465)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33259) - you deserved it (3931)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

#21254463
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39714) - you deserved it (3637)

On 09/08/2014 at 1:56pm - health - by jkim - United States (California)

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

#21252533
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15618) - you deserved it (36118)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38383) - you deserved it (2811)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico



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