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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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xzacharyx

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xzacharyx
  • Town/Country : Plainfield, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 March 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 6049
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xzacharyx : i love dis website

xzacharyx's last visitors

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xzacharyx's favorite FMLs

Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

#3078421 (383)

I agree, your life sucks (49820) - you deserved it (19633)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (97495) - you deserved it (13061)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363053) - you deserved it (401404)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

#214447 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (39705) - you deserved it (97617)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

#139747 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (65185) - you deserved it (14216)

On 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm - intimacy - by jsw029 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

#125499 (268)

I agree, your life sucks (67606) - you deserved it (15915)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, everyone at school was talking about some guy that did another girl while he was going out with someone. I started to spread the rumor myself, until someone told me that that guy was my boyfriend. The other girl was my best friend. FML

#125458 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (42218) - you deserved it (16915)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:28pm - misc - by LockandKey - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (59216) - you deserved it (14934)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

#120277 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (52803) - you deserved it (5812)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (20498) - you deserved it (54053)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML

#102962 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (55404) - you deserved it (4238)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Charles (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

#97729 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (77718) - you deserved it (5229)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (New York)

Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML

#93676 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (69266) - you deserved it (5618)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (42931) - you deserved it (16853)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

#69472 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (86311) - you deserved it (7053)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)