AIM: xxyumtasticxx
Myspace: myspace.com/alderson_veronica
Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55739) - you totally deserved it (29217)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16688) - you totally deserved it (249745)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39513) - you totally deserved it (7355)
On 04/09/2009 at 5:16am - misc - by atang (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then proceeded to walk into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poke his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20004) - you totally deserved it (165826)
On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14747) - you totally deserved it (47452)
On 04/03/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by healey16 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green..." I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with "...ya know, like a dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42867) - you totally deserved it (3124)
On 04/03/2009 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I tasted the rainbow. By that, I mean a homeless man hit me in the face with a bag of Skittles for not giving him money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69288) - you totally deserved it (8882)
On 04/03/2009 at 5:43am - money - by rovery (man) - United States (California)
Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed "how did you know i had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me and drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60629) - you totally deserved it (3200)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:09am - work - by olalala2382 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I decided to take a nap. My boyfriend gave me some sleeping pills but I decided last minute not to take them. I woke up to my boyfriend kissing my neck and unbuttoning my shirt. Without opening my eyes, I whispered "ooh this is so romantic." He blurted out shocked, "Oh...you're awake?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (149884) - you totally deserved it (9547)
On 04/01/2009 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59301) - you totally deserved it (4629)
On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down my shirt. I'm allergic to bees so I freaked out and started ripping my clothes off. By the time I was done, I was half naked and there was no bee in sight. Turns out, it was the string on my jacket hood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40070) - you totally deserved it (21273)
On 03/31/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69650) - you totally deserved it (2987)
On 03/31/2009 at 6:44am - love - by lizzardbreath (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (88444) - you totally deserved it (8138)
On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
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