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xxxbooxxx
  • Town/Country : Hippieville, Oregon, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 883
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 42 posted

About xxxbooxxx : I like Xbox & fruit punch.

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xxxbooxxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55243) - you deserved it (4754)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53370) - you deserved it (7618)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9462) - you deserved it (19020)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36981) - you deserved it (3014)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can't pull a duck face pose for her driver's license. She still doesn't believe me. FML

#18982251
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23618) - you deserved it (3342)

On 02/03/2012 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

#18670300
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22237) - you deserved it (2234)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

#18129545
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11745) - you deserved it (24398)

On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29954) - you deserved it (3669)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37618) - you deserved it (3801)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25906) - you deserved it (6927)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20955) - you deserved it (5505)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25326) - you deserved it (10751)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

#17690581
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15774) - you deserved it (2741)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28133) - you deserved it (6461)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44956) - you deserved it (6761)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)



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Monday 20 May 2013

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