xxxJORDYBEARxxx

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xxxJORDYBEARxxx

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 887
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xxxJORDYBEARxxx : Hmm about me.. Well there is not much to it .. I live in a small town and like to chill with my pals... Call me a nerd if you must but I play runescape and xbox live black ops

xxxJORDYBEARxxx's page activity

Visits<b>Hunter_the_Ninja</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:01am<b>IAm123</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:25pm<b>Contiinuous</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 11:23am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 1:39am<b>MaNameJeff</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 11:12pm<b>SophiaClaire</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 4:47am<b>oakcrush</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 8:20pm<b>SlimDanny</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:52am<b>Giggidypope</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:15am<b>pugpuggy</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 5:38am<b>immaloser95</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:56pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:31am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:59pm<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:15pm<b>suckmideck</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:57am<b>Cheezits4dayz</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 8:56am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 12:06am<b>zachadams</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:36am

Fucked!<b>IAm123</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 4:25am<b>pugpuggy</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:38am

xxxJORDYBEARxxx's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xxxJORDYBEARxxx's favorite FMLs

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

by TheKingDavis / 02/14/2011 at 2:11am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2011 at 12:31am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

by NotAsToughAsHeThinks / 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm / United States (Montana) / Health

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

by alice / 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I found out that I have enough driving skills to manage to hit a pothole and have two of my tires go flat. FML

by FlatTire / 02/13/2011 at 12:30am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

by KaraAnn17 / 02/12/2011 at 11:29am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML

by savanna(: / 02/12/2011 at 3:05am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be fun to drive into a stack of some empty cardboard boxes on my street. They weren't empty. FML

by 2dumb2drive / 02/11/2011 at 11:06pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML

by Gem / 02/11/2011 at 5:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, it snowed a lot and my friends and I went outside for a walk. Someone drove by and threw a snowball at me, hitting me square in the face. Surprised, I side-stepped only to end up losing balance and roll down a hill into a ditch full of prickly bushes. FML

by onehitwonder / 02/10/2011 at 2:26am / Health

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML

by Samyett / 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm / United States / Love

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / Belgium / Miscellaneous

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Love

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 8:34pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation