About xxxJORDYBEARxxx : Hmm about me.. Well there is not much to it .. I live in a small town and like to chill with my pals... Call me a nerd if you must but I play runescape and xbox live black ops
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (2108)
On 02/14/2011 at 2:11am - misc - by TheKingDavis (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6363) - you deserved it (35826)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10346) - you deserved it (36054)
On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19920) - you deserved it (2315)
On 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm - misc - by alice (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I found out that I have enough driving skills to manage to hit a pothole and have two of my tires go flat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8511) - you deserved it (11312)
On 02/13/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by FlatTire - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28772) - you deserved it (2294)
On 02/12/2011 at 11:29am - intimacy - by KaraAnn17 - United States (Ohio)
Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17670) - you deserved it (12008)
On 02/12/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by savanna(: - United States (Utah)
Today, I thought it would be fun to drive into a stack of some empty cardboard boxes on my street. They weren't empty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4889) - you deserved it (37538)
On 02/11/2011 at 11:06pm - money - by 2dumb2drive - United States
Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12805) - you deserved it (17359)
On 02/11/2011 at 5:59am - misc - by Gem (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, it snowed a lot and my friends and I went outside for a walk. Someone drove by and threw a snowball at me, hitting me square in the face. Surprised, I side-stepped only to end up losing balance and roll down a hill into a ditch full of prickly bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21804) - you deserved it (2984)
On 02/10/2011 at 2:26am - misc - by onehitwonder -
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44926) - you deserved it (12138)
On 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm - love - by Samyett (woman) - United States
Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49725) - you deserved it (4536) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (5072) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10776) - you deserved it (27387) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19205) - you deserved it (15149)
On 01/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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