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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 May 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 311
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xxsantaxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39089) - you deserved it (5499)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (12196)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36689) - you deserved it (20458)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (28762)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend's mother introduced me as his "friend". We've been together for 10 years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29356) - you deserved it (3044)

On 07/16/2012 at 8:58pm - love - by lurna301 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13221) - you deserved it (59239)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was accepted to college and received a scholarship equal to almost half the tuition. After sharing this news with my parents, I spent the next 35 minutes getting yelled at about how I wasn't allowed to go there because my boyfriend might go there. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38177) - you deserved it (2308)

On 12/13/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37382) - you deserved it (6040)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by 1357katie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML


I agree, your life sucks (75515) - you deserved it (9041)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by misopower (woman) - China (Henan)

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