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xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs
by polemania / 07/11/2016 at 1:23am / United States / Work
by DumbassRoaster / 07/10/2016 at 3:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by LadyGoombah / 07/06/2016 at 9:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by Lua / 06/28/2016 at 1:09pm / France (Picardie) / Animals
Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML
by Daddy / 06/02/2016 at 4:04am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Spider fail / 05/31/2016 at 3:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so tired, I passed out at work in the middle of a call. All because my neighbor's car alarm kept going off every 3 minutes all through the morning. It was still going when I left for work. If you see a news story in a few days about a whole neighborhood beating a guy to death, that's probably us. FML
by Anonymous / 05/28/2016 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, my husband and I both got smart watches. We were running around, acting like we were in a James Bond movie, having fun. Until our neighbors called the cops on us for hiding in their bushes. FML
by nykkymcallister / 05/18/2016 at 11:07pm / United States (Maryland) / Geek
by Chin... uh.... / 05/10/2016 at 6:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML
by dempasi / 05/06/2016 at 2:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 8:33pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML
by farmingman / 04/14/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, while at work I got a complaint from a guest. She complained that after spending 2 hours to get her hair done for a wedding, she got drenched with water from a child. I work at a WATER PARK. Thank you for calling me a pathetic asshat for no reason in front of other guests. FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2016 at 6:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work