Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xxsakuraxx

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

xxsakuraxx

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2581
  • Number of comments : 178
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xxsakuraxx's page activity

Visits<b>eski2015</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:34pm<b>TheDude992</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:11am<b>dudefromasia</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:31pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 3:15am<b>wvcheesehead</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:20pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:33am<b>sswagyP</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 1:50am<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:34pm<b>earljonez</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:53pm<b>arich6210</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:13pm<b>ShadowReaper101</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:32am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:37am<b>smw83</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 8:27pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Epiccake</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:41pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:03pm<b>sajupt</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:38pm

Fucked!<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:10am

xxsakuraxx's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of xxsakuraxx's badges

xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28919) - you deserved it (2188)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML

#21409835
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27950) - you deserved it (2144)

On 05/14/2015 at 1:11am - animals - by cricketsins (woman) - United States

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30132) - you deserved it (3004)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

#21404461
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (2342)

On 05/04/2015 at 12:28pm - misc - by to_complicated_4_u - United States (New York)

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
100 comments

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33785) - you deserved it (4516)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

#21401720
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29224) - you deserved it (2751)

On 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (22572)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (3990) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

#21396858
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (3112)

On 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm - animals - by craZycatLady - United States (Kansas)

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

#21396823
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27622) - you deserved it (3155)

On 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm - money - by ihatekids - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

#21395300
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28708) - you deserved it (3414)

On 04/17/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

#21391420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26791) - you deserved it (2868)

On 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm - misc - by dickhead (woman) - United States



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: