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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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xxorenneee

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xxorenneee
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 May 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 727
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xxorenneee : Um, idk what to write here. Hi! And comment on my FML!

xxorenneee's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xxorenneee's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

#7591761 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (37770) - you deserved it (11334)

On 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

#7350997 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (14160) - you deserved it (1772)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by vadoodoo22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML

#7263265 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (10670) - you deserved it (1279)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by CD (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML

#7152531 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (11542) - you deserved it (3662)

On 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by ambermcnulty - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML

#6989105 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (5647) - you deserved it (19605)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:16am - intimacy - by Dontworryaboutit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

#6890097 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (10238) - you deserved it (3031)

On 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm - intimacy - by shallowvomit1013 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (61407) - you deserved it (3890)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was cleaning my father's study room and wondering why I did not receive my acceptance/rejection letter from a college I really wanted. I found the acceptance letter, on his desk, also approving of a full scholarship. The deadline to confirm was a month ago. FML

#2545642 (322)

I agree, your life sucks (113827) - you deserved it (4211)

On 06/02/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by guamfml - Guam

Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML

#2372867 (351)

I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you deserved it (41149)

On 05/28/2009 at 1:15pm - health - by ITguy1982 (man) - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realised that my glade plug-in air freshner lasts longer than any of my relationships have. FML

#1956453 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (40039) - you deserved it (6802)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:14am - love - by heartless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

#1955875 (305)

I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you deserved it (31698)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by badboyfriends (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancee, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancee for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337 (389)

I agree, your life sucks (201093) - you deserved it (7591)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

#1654917 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (24695) - you deserved it (60271)

On 05/05/2009 at 3:43am - love - by sunboy52 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (145558) - you deserved it (5889)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

#1068348 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (113542) - you deserved it (4810)

On 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm - intimacy - by gringa_Peru (woman) - Peru (Lima)