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xxkimmyt

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xxkimmyt
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 November 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 624
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xxkimmyt : I LIEK TO PLAY LEAGUE OF LEGENDS
IF YOU DONT
THEN FUCK YOU

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xxkimmyt's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML

#17899100
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10527) - you deserved it (45438)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

#17877731
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25703) - you deserved it (2488)

On 10/01/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17827987
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33784) - you deserved it (2352)

On 09/25/2011 at 6:26am - love - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML

#17727112
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25110) - you deserved it (10655)

On 09/12/2011 at 9:52am - animals - by squeak (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6888) - you deserved it (56190)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38352) - you deserved it (10750)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31009) - you deserved it (4993)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML

#17598415
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30800) - you deserved it (2555)

On 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm - money - by KayDayParade - United States

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25454) - you deserved it (3143)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34815) - you deserved it (30431)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

#14109694
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21781) - you deserved it (4319)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:50pm - animals - by Addicted2FML303 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

#8445631
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21808) - you deserved it (4348)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:18pm - love - by wtfuraretard (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

#7700878
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (4509)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML

#6747789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19667) - you deserved it (7602)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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