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xxkimmyt

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xxkimmyt
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 November 1992 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 447
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xxkimmyt : I LIEK TO PLAY LEAGUE OF LEGENDS
IF YOU DONT
THEN FUCK YOU

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xxkimmyt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

#18360363
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19280) - you deserved it (2879)

On 11/26/2011 at 9:33pm - misc - by Matthew - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

#18327184
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25488) - you deserved it (5831)

On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35698) - you deserved it (2801) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26639) - you deserved it (1924)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21342) - you deserved it (2304)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

#17969819
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7636) - you deserved it (21893)

On 10/12/2011 at 7:39pm - health - by omgreally91 (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19989) - you deserved it (15062)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML

#17899100
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9508) - you deserved it (42334)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

#17877731
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22003) - you deserved it (1944)

On 10/01/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17827987
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33162) - you deserved it (2325)

On 09/25/2011 at 6:26am - love - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML

#17727112
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (10543)

On 09/12/2011 at 9:52am - animals - by squeak (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6154) - you deserved it (44302)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34239) - you deserved it (8536)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27549) - you deserved it (4626)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML

#17598415
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27046) - you deserved it (1972)

On 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm - money - by KayDayParade - United States



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