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xxelysiaxx

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xxelysiaxx

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  • Number of visits : 63
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xxelysiaxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25662) - you deserved it (1861)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML

#20142623
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43016) - you deserved it (1681)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25674) - you deserved it (2381)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26302) - you deserved it (3231)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

#20129768
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18685) - you deserved it (3761)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm - misc - by afraidofcans - United States (Virginia)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (4270)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30311) - you deserved it (3563)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28952) - you deserved it (18117)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

#16448607
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37545) - you deserved it (5201)

On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49847) - you deserved it (8078)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17182) - you deserved it (68473)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States



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