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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82152) - you deserved it (2343)
On 08/09/2009 at 5:26am - misc - by redbluegreen (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35840) - you deserved it (8527)
On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)
Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss. I'm a 21 year-old male intern. I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8713) - you deserved it (49515)
On 08/08/2009 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41551) - you deserved it (4154)
On 08/08/2009 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by pear8head (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, after being supportive for nearly a year, my brother finally came out of the closet and introduced the family to his new boyfriend. His new boyfriend happens to be my ex-boyfriend. Guess I know why that didn't work out now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42051) - you deserved it (3042)
On 08/06/2009 at 4:01pm - misc - by tryingnottocare (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35690) - you deserved it (5307)
On 08/06/2009 at 11:05am - misc - by Screwupify (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14800) - you deserved it (354582)
On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57322) - you deserved it (9130)
On 08/06/2009 at 6:05am - intimacy - by OhFseriously123 (man) - Italy (Lombardia)
Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13256) - you deserved it (45845)
On 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by unlucky (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, my Dad sent me an e-mail wishing me a "Happy 21st Birthday, sweetheart!" The message went on and on about how much he loves and misses me and wishes we were closer, and can't believe how fast I'm growing up. I'm 23 and my birthday is in December. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41323) - you deserved it (1734)
On 08/01/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36826) - you deserved it (998)
On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45762) - you deserved it (2671)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38791) - you deserved it (570822)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139785) - you deserved it (32568)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (276619) - you deserved it (23322)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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