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Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6494) - you totally deserved it (17540)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by TooTallNiCo (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants by my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11937) - you totally deserved it (8620)
On 11/08/2009 at 12:50pm - misc - by lauren_rox (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was on web cam to my girlfriend who was naked. She turned the web cam to point to the screen for a second and she was also on web cam with another guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8238) - you totally deserved it (1129)
On 11/04/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by angry (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3423) - you totally deserved it (17227)
On 10/31/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Lexi - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17938) - you totally deserved it (6208)
On 10/09/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend, who has been growing out his facial hair lately, and I, went to a family get together. When we showed up my grandmother came up to him and started growling. She then said, "I was just trying to communicate with Chewbacca over here." Thanks grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21320) - you totally deserved it (5126)
On 09/19/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by Chewy (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should to relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25680) - you totally deserved it (5938)
On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36977) - you totally deserved it (1916)
On 09/17/2009 at 9:59am - health - by cramps (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33130) - you totally deserved it (3825)
On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40220) - you totally deserved it (9034)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was at a concert and the guy who was selling the drinks tripped and fell down the stairs, landing on the floor next to me and the drinks went all over. I went to make sure he was okay and helped pick up the drinks. After assuring me he was okay, he gave me a free soda. It exploded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24529) - you totally deserved it (7889)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by blinkme (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7312) - you totally deserved it (27347)
On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45452) - you totally deserved it (1726)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)
Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35836) - you totally deserved it (10109)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6064) - you totally deserved it (43783)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
