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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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xxcrazybestiexx

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xxcrazybestiexx
  • Town/Country : Lawrenceville, U.S.A
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 July 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1024
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xxcrazybestiexx's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (28575) - you deserved it (8469)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235 (456)

I agree, your life sucks (22859) - you deserved it (19819)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (35966) - you deserved it (10382)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (19319) - you deserved it (35298)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML

#6494207 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (7985) - you deserved it (20886)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by TooTallNiCo (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants by my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

#6211440 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (14464) - you deserved it (9707)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:50pm - misc - by lauren_rox (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on web cam to my girlfriend who was naked. She turned the web cam to point to the screen for a second and she was also on web cam with another guy. FML

#6151203 (44)

I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (1768)

On 11/04/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by angry (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

#6086492 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (4282) - you deserved it (20578)

On 10/31/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Lexi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML

#5737700 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (21102) - you deserved it (7218)

On 10/09/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should to relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

#5315969 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (30271) - you deserved it (7057)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

#5310287 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (42870) - you deserved it (2390)

On 09/17/2009 at 9:59am - health - by cramps (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML

#5219515 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (37167) - you deserved it (4365)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52111) - you deserved it (11873)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at a concert and the guy who was selling the drinks tripped and fell down the stairs, landing on the floor next to me and the drinks went all over. I went to make sure he was okay and helped pick up the drinks. After assuring me he was okay, he gave me a free soda. It exploded. FML

#4875760 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (27811) - you deserved it (9017)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by blinkme (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (9786) - you deserved it (33528)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)