Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xxVampiresRulexx

Search for a member

xxVampiresRulexx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 355
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xxVampiresRulexx : I am awesome! =/...i love to read and to listen to music! I also watch way too much TV. Play XBOX 360 games. Games include; COD Black Ops 1 & 2, Assassins Creed, Gears of War, Halo 4, and Halo Reach.

xxVampiresRulexx's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 6:11pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 3:17pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 11:04pm<b>nelson1224</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 7:50pm<b>MarRic31</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 10:25am<b>yamuri</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 2:10am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 9:37pm<b>tavo21</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 7:14pm<b>Forever1218</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 7:07pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 3:40pm<b>gunnerblaster</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 3:07pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 3:18pm<b>plagiarismo</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 1:25pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 5:41am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 6:33pm<b>f36k</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 3:20pm<b>CajunBoyTX</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 5:25pm<b>Nilan</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 2:01pm

xxVampiresRulexx's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of xxVampiresRulexx's badges

xxVampiresRulexx's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44184) - you deserved it (4832)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

#21097210
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39577) - you deserved it (3007)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm - animals - by In urgent need of a new roommate - United States (Oregon)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37225) - you deserved it (2852)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (10071)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43370) - you deserved it (9399)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

#21090883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43959) - you deserved it (3506)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

#21088268
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38229) - you deserved it (4088)

On 03/16/2014 at 4:10pm - money - by skyeraven (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (8175) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML

#21012312
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37637) - you deserved it (5834)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:38am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45082) - you deserved it (23457)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44386) - you deserved it (5327)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53149) - you deserved it (2934)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: