xxBFMVAAMIWxx

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Offline (the 08/14/2015 at 2:44am)

xxBFMVAAMIWxx

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 February 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 843
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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xxBFMVAAMIWxx's page activity

Visits<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 1:22pm<b>Dale_shackleford</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 1:05am<b>racerboy102</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 12:06am<b>embracingsilence</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 3:54pm<b>turtledude01</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:41am<b>beefsupreme78</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 11:20pm<b>redrain567</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 6:12pm<b>YeahItsMeTommy</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 8:38am<b>robert12</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:26pm<b>EmikoShiriyuki</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:40am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 3:03am<b>Doubtful_Judge</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 3:45am<b>NephilimPie</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:15am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 6:58pm<b>valerie_273</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 5:33pm<b>rackyjr</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 10:18am<b>Tamiaxoxo00</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:23am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 9:55am

Fucked!<b>epeeftw</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 5:18am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:23am

xxBFMVAAMIWxx's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of xxBFMVAAMIWxx's badges

xxBFMVAAMIWxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I was feeling really good about myself for running and walking everywhere so much so that I was out of breath and panting. Well, until I remembered that I was playing a video game and it was my character that was doing the running around that is. FML

by Tomb Raider Wannabe / 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

by Parusu / 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

by sierraleeannee / 02/09/2014 at 1:44am / United States / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2014 at 5:59pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2013 at 2:52am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

by oldshitnewshit / 10/22/2013 at 5:11pm / United States / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

by doesnttastegood / 02/01/2010 at 5:23am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy