About xxAcexOpticxx : I get bored a lot.! So i use my iphone :D
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Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32158) - you deserved it (23518)
On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States
Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37062) - you deserved it (8625)
On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27856) - you deserved it (6253)
On 11/04/2011 at 12:29am - love - by fmlifer - United States (California)
Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21943) - you deserved it (1041)
On 09/10/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by bluestarr1 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7569) - you deserved it (33629)
On 09/10/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11926) - you deserved it (35841)
On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43326) - you deserved it (7600)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53068) - you deserved it (5468)
On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105402) - you deserved it (5808)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7046) - you deserved it (42752)
On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47524) - you deserved it (5423)
On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19619) - you deserved it (31227)
On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)
Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27316) - you deserved it (6343)
On 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm - love - by luni - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29951) - you deserved it (10446)
On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39381) - you deserved it (9032)
On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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