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xxAcexOpticxx

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xxAcexOpticxx

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 716
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xxAcexOpticxx : I get bored a lot.! So i use my iphone :D

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xxAcexOpticxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38255) - you deserved it (31177)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
601 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43599) - you deserved it (11447)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML

#18153608
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (8407)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:29am - love - by fmlifer - United States (California)

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML

#17708531
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9434) - you deserved it (47230)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15369) - you deserved it (49247)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51208) - you deserved it (9840)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML

#17227905
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62350) - you deserved it (7322)

On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131935) - you deserved it (7352)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

#16926272
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8935) - you deserved it (58048)

On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

#16877997
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55080) - you deserved it (7109)

On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

#16871149
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23119) - you deserved it (35901)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

#16868176
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32898) - you deserved it (8209)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm - love - by luni - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36712) - you deserved it (14242)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46763) - you deserved it (11964)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)



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