Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xtacticalswarmx

Search for a member

xtacticalswarmx
  • Town/Country : the rising sun, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 January 1985 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 487
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xtacticalswarmx : Blonde, blue/green eyes, 5'9" Hmm, hanging out with friends, I like to camp, fish, snowboard, and being outdoors. I'm a gamer as well. I like all kinds of music, working on autos is another fav. I like meeting new people, so feel free to send me a message. :] For a quicker reply, email. blue_skiez20@hotmail.com

xtacticalswarmx's last visitors

zikittyzakittyDoortjeissozCaptainPickles72qasimahsan93Showmehowtolive

xtacticalswarmx's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xtacticalswarmx's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the black leggings I wear quite often become see-through when I bend over. I have been showing the world my ass as well as my thong for over a month now. FML

#16015656
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9896) - you deserved it (48709)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:39am - misc - by ChrissySoltys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML

#15999474
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26844) - you deserved it (3682)

On 05/01/2011 at 1:36am - love - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my favorite song came on and I started playing the air guitar and head banging to it. I didn't realize just how close I was to the chair next to me and went face first into the metal back. FML

#15991972
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8815) - you deserved it (30270)

On 04/30/2011 at 3:52pm - health - by Jordan - United States

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63702) - you deserved it (7213)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML

#15871654
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28548) - you deserved it (10121)

On 04/21/2011 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

#15869241
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29352) - you deserved it (11929)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -

Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML

#15865508
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34166) - you deserved it (3171)

On 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

#15858919
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41439) - you deserved it (9838)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, my family and I discovered that my sleepwalking has escalated into sleep-raiding-the-fridge, after I woke up on my kitchen floor in a puddle of melted ice cream, surrounded by my parents, brother, and dogs. Apparently my recent dieting plans aren't going over too well with my subconscious. FML

#15842272
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26085) - you deserved it (3549)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:30am - health - by norestforthewicked -

Today, I made a video for a school tour of my apartment in German. The walls in my apartment are thin, so you could hear my sister having phone sex in her room in the background. FML

#15804053
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30286) - you deserved it (4838)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by Xanadu (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44882) - you deserved it (25755)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: