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xscreamsexydinox's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
xscreamsexydinox's favorite FMLs
by turdtonomor9 / 05/12/2013 at 10:08am / United States / Love
Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML
by lachaisse / 05/12/2013 at 8:09am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by those_allergies / 05/12/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by joeidk / 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML
by wrongguy / 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2013 at 1:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm / Switzerland (Sankt Gallen) / Love
by hitchcock2013 / 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML
by AussieG75 / 05/07/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 8:48am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2013 at 3:35pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by beyondembarrassed / 05/05/2013 at 1:44am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
by ADickySituation / 05/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work
- Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters… Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes.… Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him.…