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xscreamsexydinox's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
xscreamsexydinox's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML
by knowtoomuch / 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by soreloser / 05/20/2013 at 2:32am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
by harrington61 / 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by jfc, how just how / 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
by disappointed dad / 05/19/2013 at 3:35am / United States / Kids
Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
by mackmackey / 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
by SteroidPenguin / 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
by Anonymous / 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by presente13 / 05/17/2013 at 12:35am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by need € for new iron / 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy
by random / 05/13/2013 at 11:06am / United States / Animals
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 8:01am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by JamiesMom / 05/13/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
- Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't… Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never… Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then…