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xscreamsexydinox's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
xscreamsexydinox's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
by So little trust. / 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by O_O / 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by ouch / 07/12/2013 at 3:22am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation
Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML
by thanks, Nemo. / 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by fucked up dad / 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
by SHIT-BREATH / 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals
Today, my cats were making a ton of noise rolling around and fighting over their toys, and I yelled for them to knock it off. When they looked up at me, their "toy" ran away. Not a toy, but a real mouse. It's been 2 hours, and I still can't find it. FML
by drkate25 / 06/04/2013 at 12:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Animals
Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML
by irishbubble / 06/04/2013 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML
by fuck wannabe knowitalls / 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm / Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie) / Intimacy
by future burger flipper / 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…