This member hasn't filled in the description.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5584) - you deserved it (17403) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29615) - you deserved it (2075)
On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23492) - you deserved it (2547)
On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18501) - you deserved it (2540)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (4080)
On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mom, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (151) - you deserved it (6025)
On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13975) - you deserved it (4415)
On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7518) - you deserved it (28105)
On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24723) - you deserved it (1744)
On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12316) - you deserved it (1760)
On 10/05/2012 at 1:59am - misc - by alittlepersonal (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21255) - you deserved it (2926)
On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19785) - you deserved it (3399)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22672) - you deserved it (1193)
On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10559) - you deserved it (15352)
On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17344) - you deserved it (1853)
On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
