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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35877) - you deserved it (3236)
On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33808) - you deserved it (3096)
On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)
Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29078) - you deserved it (6224)
On 03/09/2013 at 6:03pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46511) - you deserved it (3137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8116) - you deserved it (32807) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28051) - you deserved it (6231)
On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24854) - you deserved it (2956)
On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27420) - you deserved it (5370)
On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31444) - you deserved it (1340)
On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21369) - you deserved it (7520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/31/2013 at 7:26am - misc - by heallven - Sent from mobile version
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29788) - you deserved it (1426)
On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27350) - you deserved it (1752)
On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13081) - you deserved it (3648)
On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9457) - you deserved it (19007)
On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23565) - you deserved it (1979)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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