About xs4u : Social media manager. Tech freak. Horror/science fiction/fantasy film/book buff. LOVE anime & a good laugh. ANDROID is the future.
xs4u's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
xs4u's favorite FMLs
Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
by Adoptee / 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Kids
Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML
by Greig / 05/22/2011 at 8:18am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML
by Cassie / 05/21/2011 at 3:44am / United States (Kansas) / Love
Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (California) / Love
by Emma-Louise / 05/20/2011 at 3:46pm / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/19/2011 at 1:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Charles / 05/18/2011 at 1:13pm / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
by nicknick2 / 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous
by Clueless / 05/14/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by simonjudy / 05/14/2011 at 4:09pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, while making love to my wife, I let slip her sister's name. I don't think it would calm her down much if I told the truth: I was actually thinking of an ex girlfriend who shares the same name. FML
by scalmon / 05/13/2011 at 1:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by crazycat / 05/13/2011 at 12:23pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Animals
by Whosthegroom / 05/12/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML
by TheNerd / 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…