About xs4u : Social media manager. Tech freak. Horror/science fiction/fantasy film/book buff. LOVE anime & a good laugh. ANDROID is the future.
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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
xs4u's favorite FMLs
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML
by thenewgirl29 / 03/01/2013 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
by useless pos / 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom (Ards) / Health
Today, I had an important job interview at another company. I'd tried to keep it secret from everyone at work, so they wouldn't tell my boss, as I can't afford to get on his bad side yet. My mom posted on my Facebook wall, wishing me luck. I'm Facebook friends with most of my colleagues. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2013 at 4:06pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work
Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML
by Neversleepingthereagain / 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML
by she sure has an arm. / 02/28/2013 at 6:57am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2013 at 2:19am / United States (Oregon) / Money
Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML
by forgotten / 02/27/2013 at 7:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
by segal1010 / 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
by Chelsea / 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Ugh / 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML
by DumbCuntApparently / 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous
Today, after scouring my apartment for quarters to do laundry, I found the correct amount of change. The change got jammed in the washing machine. I now have no more quarters, and my clothes are caked with soap from washing them in the sink. FML
by Anonymous / 02/27/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (Louisiana) / Money