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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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xprecious05x

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xprecious05x
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1107
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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xprecious05x's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

#1418421 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (8025) - you deserved it (74691)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347 (416)

I agree, your life sucks (27667) - you deserved it (92120)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML

#825703 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (6986) - you deserved it (66255)

On 04/05/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by Triedtobecool (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

#818669 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (53428) - you deserved it (6458)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by jonas_93 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to explain why we got the parts we did. He said he tried matching our characters to who we actually are. I play a whore who's a transvestite. FML

#818560 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (54787) - you deserved it (4254)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by InsideActress (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on craigslist.com as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

#721624 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (59314) - you deserved it (16073)

On 03/31/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

#710815 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (79103) - you deserved it (10893)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was cutting a bagel, only to slice the back of my hand with the knife. As I grabbed paper towels to clean up the blood, I noticed that the bagel was pre-sliced. FML

#531777 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (23419) - you deserved it (60171)

On 03/22/2009 at 2:43pm - health - by IHateBagels (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363104) - you deserved it (401454)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

#47156 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (27469) - you deserved it (3758)

On 02/15/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

#4050 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (22210) - you deserved it (2918)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by JulleandCici - Sent from mobile version