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xoxojade17

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xoxojade17

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  • Number of visits : 83
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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xoxojade17's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35862) - you deserved it (2540)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

#20162223
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7458) - you deserved it (29378)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Z - Australia

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

#20145633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27647) - you deserved it (3122)

On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33070) - you deserved it (2344)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

#20117570
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (9151)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47457) - you deserved it (1967)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

#20024681
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31241) - you deserved it (7490)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26095) - you deserved it (12385)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

#16055177
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36412) - you deserved it (7212)

On 05/05/2011 at 10:40am - love - by sad (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

#6247099
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10485) - you deserved it (72627)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33698) - you deserved it (8842)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

#5124739
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11031) - you deserved it (42939)

On 09/08/2009 at 10:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband was leaving on a long business trip to Germany. As he's leaving, my daughter starts crying. 'Dont leave me with her !' she says. 'Take me with you !' FML

#2104254
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47860) - you deserved it (8204)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
957 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73246) - you deserved it (425036)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)



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