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xoxoExoxo

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xoxoExoxo
  • Town/Country : LA, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 606
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xoxoExoxo : fml

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xoxoExoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

#2210993 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (40315) - you deserved it (7029)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:48pm - love - by jimbop (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

#2147101 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (43335) - you deserved it (16745)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ECullen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom and my step dad decided they're getting a divorce. They've been married for 2 weeks and I paid for a quarter of the wedding. FML

#2122739 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (54991) - you deserved it (4113)

On 05/20/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by disaster... (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML

#1617373 (545)

I agree, your life sucks (66844) - you deserved it (180373)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (63843) - you deserved it (21808)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (44532) - you deserved it (79659)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

#227802 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (15485) - you deserved it (38163)

On 03/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by jacks_smirking_revenge (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

#226342 (993)

I agree, your life sucks (293371) - you deserved it (57639)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (20675) - you deserved it (34986)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

#197620 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (64067)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)



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