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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got pulled over for going a few miles per hour over the speed limit. The cop asked for my license and registration. I happened to look down at my wallet while he was processing everything and saw my license in my wallet. I gave the cop my fake I.D. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4970) - you deserved it (42517)
On 09/18/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15601) - you deserved it (68860)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43292) - you deserved it (2269)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed onto the fence in an attempt to soften my fall. The fence was electric. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43372) - you deserved it (2921)
On 08/01/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by Electronotfriend (woman) - Poland (Pomorskie)
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38849) - you deserved it (6804)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it started raining unexpectedly. My daughter and I didn't have an umbrella, so my daughter raised one of my big flabby arms and put it over her head to protect her from the rain. It worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18971) - you deserved it (29545)
On 07/13/2009 at 7:30am - health - by letsloseweight (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (19693)
On 07/11/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by jadakorn (man) - United States (New York)
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
I agree, your life sucks (67621) - you deserved it (13887)
On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9801) - you deserved it (47617)
On 06/25/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by nail714 (man) - United States
Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7427) - you deserved it (42336)
On 06/21/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by TheFlash (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17335) - you deserved it (53653)
On 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by Paco4242 (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my band had a show. We played a love song, and during the bridge, I ask out a friend of mine who was in the crowd, over the mic, in front of at least 200 people. She said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40254) - you deserved it (13787)
On 06/12/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by Guitar-ZERO - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44187) - you deserved it (4641)
On 06/12/2009 at 12:49am - kids - by downlowtooslow (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was painting the garage door. After 3 hours, I finally finished the job. As I was walking back inside, accidentally pressed the button that opens and closes the garage door. Not only did the paint job get messed up as it went up, the paint also dripped onto my parents brand new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28456) - you deserved it (16312)
On 06/09/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)
Today, I had to find a date for this banquet we did in my town every year. I paid my neighbor 40 bucks an hour to be my date. It was a 4 hour event. Best part: she got drunk and told the whole town I was paying her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12415) - you deserved it (40647)
On 06/08/2009 at 2:44pm - love - by twowords (man) - United States (Georgia)
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