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xoxilovesoccerxo

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xoxilovesoccerxo
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 262
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xoxilovesoccerxo's favorite FMLs

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

#17252613
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29146) - you deserved it (2894)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Bec (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42547) - you deserved it (4545)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

#14596150
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33271) - you deserved it (7419)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

#14594110
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32716) - you deserved it (3005)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

#14593479
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21339) - you deserved it (17834)

On 01/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML

#14492583
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16380) - you deserved it (20126)

On 01/07/2011 at 12:46am - health - by biscuit (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after lifting a 20 pound box of oranges for a woman at work, she turned around to say "Your acne needs help." I still had to tell her to have a good day. FML

#14490477
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19047) - you deserved it (1892)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

#14484752
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20346) - you deserved it (1720)

On 01/06/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML

#14463588
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6364) - you deserved it (63900)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

#14442409
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (1903)

On 01/02/2011 at 7:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

#14377824
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37101) - you deserved it (3758)

On 12/29/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14049) - you deserved it (47175)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35318) - you deserved it (5720)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML

#398
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32261) - you deserved it (7057)

On 11/27/2008 at 3:52am - intimacy - by ehbe - Sent from mobile version



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