xostaramaraxo

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Offline (the 09/02/2015 at 6:32am)

xostaramaraxo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1285
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xostaramaraxo's page activity

Visits<b>OneNightStander</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 9:17pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 5:58am

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xostaramaraxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

by highschoolsucks / 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned I'm allergic to the 5-month-old kitten we got 3 days ago. It loves me, follows me everywhere and sleeps on my lap in the evenings. FML

by crazy cat lady / 12/03/2014 at 6:24pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Animals

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

by AOart1st / 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm / United States / Work

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

by Anonymoose / 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

by Katthebamf / 09/28/2014 at 10:25am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

by Abbynyc / 09/28/2014 at 7:40am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, as I was lying in my bed eating my dinner, my roommate says to me: "I don't know how to say this, but we need more towels. The room is flooding." FML

by youonlyneed2squares / 09/24/2014 at 12:10am / Miscellaneous

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

by immature / 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Work

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

by the3goatlady / 09/01/2014 at 12:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

by emilyparker / 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love