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xopher425

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xopher425

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 April 1975 (39 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1396
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xopher425 : Some days your life is fucked, some days you deserve it. But most of the time you deserve your fucked up life.

xopher425's page activity

Visits<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 1:47am<b>wowwzaa</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:21am<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 10:55am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 2:48pm<b>happyjesus</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:18am<b>12goldfish69</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:21pm<b>an3ph</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:04am<b>Mac_Alvy</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:08pm<b>Wormie14</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 2:23pm<b>SandyRae</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:04pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:22am<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:42am<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 10:41am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 5:29pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:19pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Tim2415</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:40pm<b>davidpropert</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 10:35pm

xopher425's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of xopher425's badges

xopher425's favorite FMLs

Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML

#19705574
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17861) - you deserved it (1733)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9662) - you deserved it (24092)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30826) - you deserved it (19877)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, I went to family therapy because my mom wanted the family to be closer. When asked what her biggest disappointment was in life, she turned to me and said, "Having a gay son" then patted my hand, smiled, and said "No offense, honey." FML

#19416879
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38556) - you deserved it (6536)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by Sadboy (man) - United States

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8206) - you deserved it (37350)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34940) - you deserved it (12267)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML

#18806135
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34328) - you deserved it (9769)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (40524)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15080) - you deserved it (40133)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32108) - you deserved it (15816)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31505) - you deserved it (3285)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

#18254256
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (15832)

On 11/15/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by yuck - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26679) - you deserved it (4923)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML

#17918241
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21068) - you deserved it (10275)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by xoccerplaya - United States (Hawaii)



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