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xopher425

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xopher425
  • Town/Country : Chicago
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 April 1975 (38 years)
  • Number of visits : 527
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xopher425's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of xopher425's badges

xopher425's favorite FMLs

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6679) - you deserved it (28489)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

#12617808
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (4650)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

#11011756
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41530) - you deserved it (6327)

On 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm - kids - by Annakins (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

#9244161
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28432) - you deserved it (5845)

On 03/20/2010 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by drew_ar85 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (9802)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML

#9048204
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4938) - you deserved it (28414)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML

#9018544
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16239) - you deserved it (3084)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:01am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6587) - you deserved it (22764)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

#8784416
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5698) - you deserved it (17392)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34246) - you deserved it (3067)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25250) - you deserved it (3814)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23851) - you deserved it (7842)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6888) - you deserved it (46753)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent christmas eve googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good christmas. FML

#6933145
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20499) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:25am - animals - by suuuuuupucci (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

#6791694
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (1957)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:35am - intimacy - by turriblebday (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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