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xopher425

Offline (the 06/30/2015 at 7:59pm) | Search for a member

xopher425

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 April 1975 (40 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2029
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xopher425 : Some days your life is fucked, some days you deserve it. But most of the time you deserve your fucked up life.

xopher425's page activity

Visits<b>JLBavard</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 7:29pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:49am<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 1:47am<b>wowwzaa</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:21am<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 10:55am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 2:48pm<b>happyjesus</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:18am<b>12goldfish69</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:21pm<b>an3ph</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:04am<b>Mac_Alvy</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:08pm<b>Wormie14</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 2:23pm<b>SandyRae</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:04pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:22am<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:42am<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 10:41am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 5:29pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:19pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:08pm

xopher425's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of xopher425's badges

xopher425's favorite FMLs

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

#19995451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19800) - you deserved it (2028)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29839) - you deserved it (5376)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11481) - you deserved it (38291)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

#19948855
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7006) - you deserved it (22169)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my thoughts that I'm going crazy were confirmed when I got into the shower with my socks on. The worst part is that I didn't realize it for a good five minutes. FML

#19944321
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20311) - you deserved it (5040)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:12am - health - by goincrazy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36081) - you deserved it (5848)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML

#19720821
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21458) - you deserved it (13761)

On 06/02/2012 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML

#19705574
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17948) - you deserved it (1740)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10477) - you deserved it (25707)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (19270)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, I went to family therapy because my mom wanted the family to be closer. When asked what her biggest disappointment was in life, she turned to me and said, "Having a gay son" then patted my hand, smiled, and said "No offense, honey." FML

#19416879
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38709) - you deserved it (6543)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by Sadboy (man) - United States

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8250) - you deserved it (37475)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37093) - you deserved it (12874)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML

#18806135
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36003) - you deserved it (10108)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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