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xopher425

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xopher425
  • Town/Country : Chicago
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 April 1975 (38 years)
  • Number of visits : 508
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xopher425's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

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xopher425's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (1457)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

#19995451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15750) - you deserved it (1666)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25974) - you deserved it (4863)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (32981)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

#19948855
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4749) - you deserved it (13478)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my thoughts that I'm going crazy were confirmed when I got into the shower with my socks on. The worst part is that I didn't realize it for a good five minutes. FML

#19944321
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13870) - you deserved it (3495)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:12am - health - by goincrazy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML

#19720821
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17715) - you deserved it (12155)

On 06/02/2012 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8179) - you deserved it (21091)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (17679)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, I went to family therapy because my mom wanted the family to be closer. When asked what her biggest disappointment was in life, she turned to me and said, "Having a gay son" then patted my hand, smiled, and said "No offense, honey." FML

#19416879
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36597) - you deserved it (6304)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by Sadboy (man) - United States

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7201) - you deserved it (34310)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32735) - you deserved it (11618)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13305) - you deserved it (37024)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27091) - you deserved it (14179)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)



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