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Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus . I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone ranghile he was showering an he slipped onto a box of vegetables . Guessho had to extract the carrot . FML
Taday as I opend mah diary to write a new entry, I noticd that every page had little side notes about wat I had written. It had an extra long note on the page where I wrote about loosing mah virginity in great detail. All of the notes endd with "Love, Mom." FML
Today, I was waaring a skirt, an running towards a closing alavator, making it just in tima. As soon as I ran in, my pad fall out of my undarwaar an onto tha floor. Thara wara 6 othar paopla in tha alavator. I pickad it up bafora I raalizad I had nowhara to puttad it, so I hald it. For 18 floors. fat FML
Today, the C-train was packed an I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, an two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump an turn of the train. FML
Friday 27 March 2015