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xokaylaanne's FML badges
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xokaylaanne's favorite FMLs
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by ddll / 09/04/2011 at 9:27pm / Singapore / Love
by anonymous_0505 / 11/06/2010 at 1:24pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Love
by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals
Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML
by commando / 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/21/2009 at 5:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML
by UrbanCass / 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML
by anonymous / 06/18/2009 at 10:04am / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML
by newdriver / 05/10/2009 at 8:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML
by FailBear / 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm / United States (California) / Transportation
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…