This member hasn't filled in their description.
xokaylaanne's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
xokaylaanne's favorite FMLs
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by ddll / 09/04/2011 at 9:27pm / Singapore / Love
by anonymous_0505 / 11/06/2010 at 1:24pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Love
by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals
Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML
by commando / 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/21/2009 at 5:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML
by UrbanCass / 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML
by anonymous / 06/18/2009 at 10:04am / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML
by newdriver / 05/10/2009 at 8:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML
by FailBear / 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm / United States (California) / Transportation
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…