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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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xohmegeeitsasia

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xohmegeeitsasia
  • Town/Country : Belmont, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 July 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 3907
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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xohmegeeitsasia's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that I have completely fallen for this incredible guy, and that I am really looking forward to where our relationship will take us. He just informed me that he will be doing jail time following his court date Tuesday. FML

#7218409 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (16164) - you deserved it (3691)

On 01/08/2010 at 3:06pm - love - by brokenrelicslost (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (22685)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I've recently developed a bladder control issue. Every time I lift anything more than about fifteen pounds, I pee myself a little. I work in a warehouse. Heavy lifting is my job. FML

#7216883 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (1478)

On 01/08/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by mcpeepants (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

#7215986 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (22632) - you deserved it (2754)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:35am - work - by WesJaz (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I saw a picture of me from a night of drinking that surprisingly looked really really good. I showed my boyfriend and he agreed with me. Then he added, "What's funny is it looks nothing like you!" FML

#7215192 (33)

I agree, your life sucks (14324) - you deserved it (2223)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

#7213754 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (6315) - you deserved it (30683)

On 01/08/2010 at 6:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (24384) - you deserved it (1856)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML

#7199217 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (19365) - you deserved it (1683)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:42pm - money - by Animal_aide (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was looking forward to coming home to a freshly-cooked meal. Coming home to a cowering dog, two inches of water on the floor, and being handed a mop is just as good, I guess. FML

#7199180 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (15510) - you deserved it (2106)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:38pm - animals - by Flooded (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

#7198601 (42)

I agree, your life sucks (15858) - you deserved it (2772)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (24796) - you deserved it (1721)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, for my art project, I spent hours painting my whole body in black spots with acrylic paint. I then went and stood outside in the snow, naked, so I could take pictures of it. Only then to find out the camera was out of batteries. FML

#7197887 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (5077) - you deserved it (20034)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:36am - misc - by Boob (woman) - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I got a haircut, and after thanking the stylist I went up front to pay. The lady behind the counter took one look at me, smiled and said "well, now you'll need a hat." FML

#7196833 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (17081) - you deserved it (1496)

On 01/07/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML

#7196823 (44)

I agree, your life sucks (5174) - you deserved it (16824)

On 01/07/2010 at 9:43am - misc - by Doomy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML

#7194644 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (15389) - you deserved it (2571)

On 01/07/2010 at 3:31am - animals - by Archie (man) - United States (California)