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Offline (the 10/15/2016 at 12:55am)



  • Town/Country : Ventura, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 401
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xochilzarate : Life sucks

xochilzarate's page activity

Visits<b>JefferyLillie</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:13pm<b>winstonweigand</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:07am<b>stjammy</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:18pm<b>Azang7</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 9:18pm<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:18am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:19pm<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 5:47pm<b>PresleyLogan</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 2:22am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 9:21am<b>olpally</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 8:49am

xochilzarate's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of xochilzarate's badges

xochilzarate's favorite FMLs

Today, an old man wanted to return a fryer. The box had blood smears all over it, so I told him no. He became irate and demanded a manager. Management said, "Hell no and don't touch that box." When I came back, he was licking a paper towel and attempting to wipe off the blood. FML

by leafynitemare / 03/08/2016 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2015 at 6:57am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Health

Today, I thought I had carbon monoxide poisoning because I had the symptoms and my detector was going off. I called the fire dept, they checked me, they checked my apartment. My apartment is fine; I'm just out of shape, have high blood pressure, and don't know how to work simple electronics. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2015 at 12:12am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

by orangemango / 04/22/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend's dog got hit by a car. I was the only one not in shock, and had to drag the poor thing off the road, then comfort a hysterical friend while the driver verbally abused us and demanded we pay for the repairs to his car. FML

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

by shit_upon_literally / 03/07/2009 at 12:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.