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xo_emily_xo

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xo_emily_xo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 November 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 34166
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About xo_emily_xo : Hi♥I have great FMLs, but as you can tell, they NEVER (!) get published =(

Thanks for checking out my profile♥

xo_emily_xo's page activity

Visits<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:09am<b>Damafia</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:53pm<b>Schminkyg6136</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:47am<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:27pm<b>beastiness</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:29pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:48pm<b>nick2356</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 12:11am<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:31pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 7:38pm<b>MRVOlivia</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 8:32pm<b>that_band_nerd</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:37pm<b>149967</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 6:04pm<b>zzzaman</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:33am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 11:16am<b>Sammy342</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 11:16am<b>kjblack</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 12:56am<b>eggfactory</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 9:23am<b>Nannerz98</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 11:35pm

xo_emily_xo's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xo_emily_xo's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the mall and saw a really cute guy. I acted all cool and started doing a sexy hair flip. On the way back up from my hair flip I hit my head on a cellphone stand. FML

#4203484
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8034) - you deserved it (52825)

On 08/01/2009 at 8:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59410) - you deserved it (9523)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66868) - you deserved it (15312)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

#4200771
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39534) - you deserved it (7247)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:23am - intimacy - by Glassjaw (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my father taught my son to pee on trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML

#4199907
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38068) - you deserved it (5503)

On 08/01/2009 at 2:35am - kids - by jcesom (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML

#4196733
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56248) - you deserved it (2345)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a huge rock concert. While waiting in a half a mile long line to get in, I passed out due to the heat. I regained consciousness to hear about a hundred people yelling and trying to help me. My boyfriend, who I went with, was not one of them. FML

#4193534
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41252) - you deserved it (3098)

On 07/31/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by passedoutpolly (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mum deleted my college research assignment on rape because the subject was too vulgar. I had worked on it for the past month and it was worth 50% of my grade. It's due tomorrow. FML

#4192462
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62887) - you deserved it (4005)

On 07/31/2009 at 9:51pm - work - by mandy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, this guy I have been hanging out with for a while came over and we were about to do it. He pulled off my clothes and once I was naked I reached for his zipper. He just backed up and said he was a virgin and simply wanted to see me naked. FML

#4191218
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54461) - you deserved it (11003)

On 07/31/2009 at 8:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML

#4186379
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44978) - you deserved it (3996)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I discovered that my cheating, stealing ex boyfriend is posting pictures of naked women having group sex, with my face photoshopped onto them. He sent those to my boss, my friends, my family, only because I refused to bail his drunken self out of jail a couple weeks ago. FML

#4176404
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66758) - you deserved it (6447)

On 07/31/2009 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Spadiethestar (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I placed a personal ad advertising myself as an overweight woman wanting sex. I sent pictures of me in lingerie to men who replied and was pleased that almost all were still interested. Then I sent face pics. As it turns out, being fat is not my problem. Apparently I'm ugly. FML

#4165999
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41827) - you deserved it (26503)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by yeahthatsme (woman) - United States (Kentucky) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart to heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

#4156133
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12155) - you deserved it (48309)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:02am - intimacy - by BrokenVow (woman) - Canada (British Columbia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#4155124
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21810) - you deserved it (53805)

On 07/30/2009 at 5:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

#4151663
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13201) - you deserved it (45280)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:46am - intimacy - by solomantis (man) - Norway (Oslo) - moderated by the Jackass crew



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