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xo_emily_xo

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xo_emily_xo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 November 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 34839
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About xo_emily_xo : Hi♥I have great FMLs, but as you can tell, they NEVER (!) get published =(

Thanks for checking out my profile♥

xo_emily_xo's page activity

Visits<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:57pm<b>Nightmare_666</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:52am<b>loveblondie</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:50am<b>live_307</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:34am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:15pm<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:01pm<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:09am<b>Damafia</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:53pm<b>Schminkyg6136</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:47am<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:27pm<b>beastiness</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:29pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:48pm<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:31pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 7:38pm<b>MRVOlivia</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 8:32pm<b>that_band_nerd</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:37pm<b>149967</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 6:04pm<b>zzzaman</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:33am

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xo_emily_xo's favorite FMLs

Today, I came ome at noon from a long nigt out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and eels. As I walked up to te door and knocked to be let in, te womanipped around and I figured outo it was. My dad. FML

#4276253
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50345) - you deserved it (2954)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out I hava an option on my phona to postpona tha sanding of my taxt massagas!! I thought it would ba cuta to sand my boyfriand taxts saying, " I lova you and swaat draams" avary night at midnight 4 a month!! Ha broka up with ma and I can't figura out how to stop tha taxts!! FML

#4276088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36390) - you deserved it (23377)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:26am - misc - by Optimist - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Yesterday, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt an revealed to me that she wasn't wereing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43800) - you deserved it (18933)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I textd my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn . She respondd ( it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth! ) I was referring to the lawn outside of my house . FML

#4272437
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15365) - you deserved it (50760)

On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was putting on new pair of jeans,hen girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of pants, held it for a littlehile then putted it on crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug an half-smile an walked away. FML

#4270687
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45266) - you deserved it (7295)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)

Today... I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59476) - you deserved it (8797)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

yesterday I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

#4264267
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54984) - you deserved it (2098)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I Found Out That Bees Lyk To Make Hives In Odd Places, Lyk In Your Vintage Car's Trunk. I Also Found Out That They Don't Lyk Ithen You Break Their Hive In Halfhen You Open The Trunk To Get Out A Spare Tire. FML

#4260917
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45835) - you deserved it (3777)

On 08/03/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Stung (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was pullad ovar fir spaading. Aftar a faw minutas of convarsing, ha told ma ha didn't naad to giva ma a tickat. Ha than askad fir a data. I politaly daclinad. Aftar staring at ma fir a vary long momant, ha said "I think I'm going to hava to giva u that tickat aftar all." FML

#4255816
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44747) - you deserved it (24883)

On 08/03/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, I WAS AT A BAR WITH MY FRIENDS FOR MY 19TH BIRTHDAY WHEN I SAW MY DAD GRINDING SOME CHICK THAT WAS NOT MY MOM. I CONFRONTD HIM AN TOLD HIM I WAS TELLING MOM. HE THEN POINTD ACROSS THE BAR TO MY MOM WITH ANOTHER MAN. I JUST FOUND OUT MY PARENTS R SWINGERS. FML

#4254409
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69064) - you deserved it (5073)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by myparentsarehoes (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand fir myself an confronted my co-worker of writing thing up in looool my name fir herself, an it getting deducted from my check. So she goes to the manager an accuse me of sexual harassment. Everyone applauded. FML

#4252851
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49682) - you deserved it (3507)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

TODAY AFTER A GREAT NIGHT OF SEXUAL PLEASURE I RAN TO ANSWER THE DOOR. THE ANGRY WOMAN STANDING THERE INTRODUCD HERSELF. ''HI I'M YOUR NIEGHBOR. MY SEVEN YEAR OLD SON'S BEDROOM IS JUST NEXT TO YOURS AN WHEN YOU SCREAM AT NIGHT HE GETS SCARD. DO YOU THINK YOU COULD KEEP IT DOWN?'' FML

#4228072
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43856) - you deserved it (30654)

On 08/02/2009 at 11:12am - intimacy - by kmb04 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

TODAY, I WAS DRINKING AT THE LOCAL PUB AND STARTED TALKING TO A REALLY CUTE GUY!! I BENT DOWN TO PICK UP MAH BAG AND THE SECOND I DID, I FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO THROW UP!! I CLAMPED MAH MOUTH SHUT IN THE VAIN HOPE THAT I COULD BLOCK IT BUT AS I STOOD BACK UP, VOMIT SPRAYED OUT THROUGH MAH NOSE!! FAT FML

#4227186
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42113) - you deserved it (11036)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:40am - misc - by soembarrassed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today I missed flight. Why? My niece thought it would be funny to empty out suitcase and hide inside. FML

#4226931
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49179) - you deserved it (3324)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Inch'on-jikhalsi)

Today I discovered tat I ave developed an allergy to salt water on ma face. Now every time I sweat or cry I come up in a brigt red ras. I am allergic to ma own bodily fluids. FML

#4226851
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60404) - you deserved it (3129)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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