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Today, my toddler stood up in the shopping cart and fell giving himself a black eye. Later while at a restaurant he tried to stand up in his highchair. I quickly blurted out "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. Now the waiter wont stop glaring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33207) - you deserved it (7633)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82713) - you deserved it (3841)
On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28059) - you deserved it (1938)
On 12/08/2010 at 9:26pm - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my five year old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side so I decided to grab a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8576) - you deserved it (20319)
On 12/06/2010 at 1:17am - kids - by Hunter -
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11160) - you deserved it (29153)
On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22459) - you deserved it (2082)
On 11/20/2010 at 12:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23314) - you deserved it (2244)
On 11/11/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my apartment building shut off our water for a short period of time because the pipes were being worked on. It was also the morning my dog had diarrhea on my cream carpet. Not only did I have to clean it up without water, I couldn't wash my hands afterward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21786) - you deserved it (2194)
On 11/11/2010 at 1:02pm - animals - by jordanss - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13213) - you deserved it (24820)
On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40480) - you deserved it (13600)
On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, when I signed into Amazon, their top recommendation for me based on past purchases was "The Brave Little Toaster" on DVD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6231) - you deserved it (18098)
On 11/08/2010 at 4:04am - misc - by lambxox - United States
Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (7817)
On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49163) - you deserved it (9961)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I discovered that my new roommate likes to take the loose hair when she showers and make shapes with it on the shower wall. She calls it art. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21174) - you deserved it (2323)
On 10/29/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, it was wacky tacky day at my school. I did not participate, however, I did get voted the tackiest outfit in my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18335) - you deserved it (5774)
On 10/18/2010 at 6:49am - misc - by obsceene - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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