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xneonlightsx

Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 4:13am) | Search for a member

xneonlightsx

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 October 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1245
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xneonlightsx's page activity

Visits<b>CourtneyDanielle</b> - the 04/10/2010 at 9:27pm

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xneonlightsx's favorite FMLs

Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML

#14797258
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8155) - you deserved it (61247)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

#14786538
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29520) - you deserved it (5182)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48621) - you deserved it (3973) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

#14716778
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32384) - you deserved it (3340)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:48am - kids - by Braelynn -

Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML

#14691399
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25296) - you deserved it (4227)

On 01/23/2011 at 9:47pm - misc - by embarrassed2 (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30669) - you deserved it (19921) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

#14486869
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7957) - you deserved it (41769)

On 01/06/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28420) - you deserved it (7865)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40312) - you deserved it (9553)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98850) - you deserved it (5406)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

#14136075
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33922) - you deserved it (2626)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:26pm - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five year old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side so I decided to grab a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML

#14103046
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11273) - you deserved it (29238)

On 12/06/2010 at 1:17am - kids - by Hunter -

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14404) - you deserved it (38538)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML

#13906706
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (2848)

On 11/20/2010 at 12:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML

#13805619
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27982) - you deserved it (2575)

On 11/11/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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