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xneonlightsx

Offline (the 05/28/2015 at 3:57am) | Search for a member

xneonlightsx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 October 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1452
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xneonlightsx's page activity

Visits<b>CourtneyDanielle</b> - the 04/10/2010 at 9:27pm

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xneonlightsx's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

#16746008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33604) - you deserved it (6794)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by screwedwoman27 - United States

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to disable my iPod Touch for 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, I went to enter my password. I missed a number accidentally. 50 minutes to go. FML

#16734083
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20754) - you deserved it (27423)

On 06/18/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by iDisable - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9669) - you deserved it (104656)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML

#16714444
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33270) - you deserved it (2248)

On 06/17/2011 at 4:23pm - misc - by ajdown (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9789) - you deserved it (45710)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13464) - you deserved it (59744)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my aunt gave my cat aspirin because when she touched his nose he had a 'fever'. I came home to a dead cat. FML

#16495613
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57167) - you deserved it (3893)

On 06/04/2011 at 7:22am - animals - by Clumsyblonde22 - United States

Today, my aunt gave my cat aspirin because when she touched his nose he had a 'fever'. I came home to a dead cat. FML

#16495613
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57167) - you deserved it (3893)

On 06/04/2011 at 7:22am - animals - by Clumsyblonde22 - United States

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44276) - you deserved it (3283)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

#16467610
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36150) - you deserved it (13143)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend refused to take me out on our three year anniversary because he was busy, "training to become a professional gamer." FML

#16441244
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32531) - you deserved it (7982)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, I went shopping with my cousin. Walking down the road, I heard her say "Can you hold my hand?" I was confused, but thought it was cute, so I held her hand and kept walking. It turns out she'd asked me to hold her bag. We didn't say another word after that. FML

#16250181
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28914) - you deserved it (7387)

On 05/19/2011 at 8:51am - misc - by awkwardd (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML

#16247260
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32399) - you deserved it (2861)

On 05/19/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by John -

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

#16188674
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37781) - you deserved it (6966) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2011 at 2:19pm - misc - by bouda - France (Centre)

Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML

#16169290
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62792) - you deserved it (4783)

On 05/14/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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