xneonlightsx

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Offline (the 06/14/2016 at 3:34pm)

xneonlightsx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 October 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1764
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xneonlightsx : 20/F/Canada

xneonlightsx's page activity

Visits<b>CourtneyDanielle</b> - the 04/10/2010 at 9:27pm

xneonlightsx's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of xneonlightsx's badges

xneonlightsx's favorite FMLs

Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML

by hikari_chan_xo / 03/28/2012 at 8:00am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML

by thatswhatsup66 / 03/20/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

by JeffeeBojangles / 02/28/2012 at 7:46am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

by badmom / 02/25/2012 at 6:25am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

by ZeroApostle4Ever / 02/23/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

by BoringFucker / 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Animals

Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML

by haileypaige123 / 02/06/2012 at 10:32am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

by Tiana / 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

by Dutchee / 01/23/2012 at 6:27am / Netherlands (Friesland) / Health