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Today, I met with my realtor to close on a house for my boyfriend and me. While waiting for my boyfriend, I got a text message from him saying he was breaking up with me. I had already signed the papers on our house. Now I'm responsible for a mortgage that I can only afford with his help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40995) - you totally deserved it (8089)
On 07/07/2009 at 12:48am - money - by housepoor (woman) - United States (California)
Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39175) - you totally deserved it (4119)
On 07/06/2009 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31564) - you totally deserved it (6521)
On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32965) - you totally deserved it (6125)
On 06/22/2009 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my soccer team got our warm up t-shirts that say "You can hit on us, but you can't score." After the game, a guy behind my friend asks, "Hey what does the front of your shirt say?" I replied for her, "You can hit on us." He looked at me and my friend and said, "No thanks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30368) - you totally deserved it (6746)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops, looks directly at me, and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN!" and proceeds to flip me over, grab his clothes, and run out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66361) - you totally deserved it (8245)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16726) - you totally deserved it (43130)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75742) - you totally deserved it (3114)
On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10067) - you totally deserved it (59697)
On 03/30/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by superstar (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn'tcome back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18766) - you totally deserved it (54985)
On 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my fiance's divorce was finalized. To celebrate, we went out to dinner at this expensive restaurant. After dinner, he goes to the restroom. A couple minutes later, the check comes with a note saying: "Thanks! Gonna enjoy bachelor life. It's over." Left me with the $200 bill. He drove. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62388) - you totally deserved it (6740)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:07am - love - by RME (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my fiance told me that he no longer loves me, that he still has feelings for an ex. The wedding is off and he needs the ring back to give to the right woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51465) - you totally deserved it (1893)
On 02/03/2009 at 12:08pm - love - by nolongerengaged (woman) - United States
Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28639) - you totally deserved it (3000)
On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)
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