xmaddy118x

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xmaddy118x

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3141
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xmaddy118x's page activity

Visits<b>fuckit_oo</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 8:39pm<b>QU33NOFAWKWARD</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 10:02pm<b>7runner87</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 12:55pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 9:39am<b>Ez2bnoz</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 10:58pm

xmaddy118x's FML badges

Judgmental

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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xmaddy118x's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

by (._. ) / 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

by benjo / 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 11:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

by newbffswelcome / 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML

by Barking Mad / 08/04/2013 at 7:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm / United States (Delaware) / Love

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML

by anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 9:53am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

by booger / 07/18/2013 at 3:41am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 10:55am / United States / Work

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

by thatkid00117 / 07/15/2013 at 1:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.