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xmaan667

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xmaan667

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  • Number of visits : 241
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Visits<b>T_Young96</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:56pm<b>drunkensteg</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:42pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:00pm<b>AwkwardBug</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:01am

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xmaan667's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16636) - you deserved it (12349)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33792) - you deserved it (9763)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34395) - you deserved it (10510)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28570) - you deserved it (7379)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34218) - you deserved it (3382)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33782) - you deserved it (12125)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31333) - you deserved it (15548)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35341) - you deserved it (3722)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

#21276883
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36493) - you deserved it (4057)

On 10/13/2014 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36577) - you deserved it (7168)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend admitted than he's been using Febreze instead of showering for the past month. FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35949) - you deserved it (16049)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

#21270236
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29065) - you deserved it (5130)

On 10/03/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, while working as a teacher at a daycare, a two year-old girl decided the best way to share that she had pooped was to reach in her diaper and attempt to hand some to me. FML

#21264874
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (2769)

On 09/25/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by disgusted - United States (Maine)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38288) - you deserved it (9787)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)



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