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xmaan667

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xmaan667

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  • Number of visits : 283
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Visits<b>T_Young96</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:56pm<b>drunkensteg</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:42pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:00pm<b>AwkwardBug</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:01am

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xmaan667's favorite FMLs

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

#21303585
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19557) - you deserved it (2020)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:29pm - kids - by angkal2002 - Australia

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25946) - you deserved it (2086)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

#21289257
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34478) - you deserved it (2147)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (21136)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36194) - you deserved it (10565)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36030) - you deserved it (10988)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28905) - you deserved it (7438)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35671) - you deserved it (3413)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34216) - you deserved it (12231)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31485) - you deserved it (15617)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (3732)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

#21276883
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36668) - you deserved it (4074)

On 10/13/2014 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37610) - you deserved it (7244)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend admitted than he's been using Febreze instead of showering for the past month. FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36538) - you deserved it (16192)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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