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xmaan667

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xmaan667

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1729
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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xmaan667's page activity

Visits<b>sayroshi</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 12:21pm<b>AnalDestiny</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 12:11pm<b>thedevilspawn</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 11:19pm<b>ajeppsen</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:21pm<b>igive</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 8:06pm<b>T_Young96</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:56pm<b>drunkensteg</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:42pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:00pm<b>AwkwardBug</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:01am

xmaan667's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of xmaan667's badges

xmaan667's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30122) - you deserved it (2916)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31427) - you deserved it (4294)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41340) - you deserved it (2818)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was closing up at my sandwich-making job when a huge bus full of basic, snobby, preppy cheerleaders came in. They literally "can't even" decide what they want. FML

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (3096)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, it was my first day working as a pharmacist. I quickly discovered that customers not only think that it makes me qualified to offer free medical advice, but they also have no qualms about showing me their various lumps, bumps, and vaginal leakages. FML

#21377662
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30940) - you deserved it (3486)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:19am - work - by MyPoorEyes (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35150) - you deserved it (3920)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

#21369959
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35897) - you deserved it (3264)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by greatly disturbed - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43271) - you deserved it (19595)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29994) - you deserved it (5129)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35596) - you deserved it (3697)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38310) - you deserved it (6734)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31854) - you deserved it (4527)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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